Preventing Conflicts and Violence HOW TO PREVENT FIGHTS Conflict is a normal part of life. We all have occasional conflicts, even with people we love. But we shouldn't let little conflicts turn into big fights, especially violent ones. Here are some rules for keeping conflicts from getting out of control. * Tell the other person what's bothering you - but do it nicely. * Don't let your emotions take control. * Listen to the other person. * Try to understand how the other person is feeling. * No name-calling or insults. * No hitting. * Don't yell or raise your voice. * Look for a compromise. And, if all else fails, ask somebody else to help!   "Preventing Conflicts and Violence " The Video This video teaches young adolescents: *  How conflicts escalate, and what they can do to prevent that from happening. *  How their attitudes and behaviors can exacerbate the problem. *  Not to tolerate violence. *  That violence is a choice, not an inevitability, and that they have the power to avoid it in most cases. *  Ways of dealing with anger.   see story synopsis . . .     "Big Changes, Big Choices" the 12-part series In Big Changes, Big Choices comedian/teen counselor Michael Pritchard helps young adolescents discover that they have the power and the responsibility to make the right choices for themselves.  more. . . If your school or organization does not have these videos, you can purchase them from Live Wire Media, or request them from your local library.       Subscribe to our almost Monthly Newsletter Get breaking news and developments in character education and helpful tips and ideas that you can use with your own character education program. View this month's newsletter.       Send this page to a friend Do you have friends or colleagues who would like to know about this page or about this website? Click on the blue arrow to share it with them.   To find additional teaching guides on this and related topics for K-12, click here. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS If you are using the video, ask the first two questions before viewing. 1. Agree or disagree: When you get into a conflict with someone, it's okay to hit and call names. 2. Do the conflicts here at school sometimes get violent? Why? Are these things really worth getting violent over? Is it okay to get violent? What's bad about violence? 3. Have you ever gotten into a fight because you were upset about something else? - What happened? - How did you feel afterward? - What did you learn from that? 4. When somebody says something insensitive to you, should you confront him/her on it? What's a good way to do that without starting a fight? 5. Have you ever said something in the heat of an argument that you regretted later? What happened? 6. Do you find it easy or difficult to apologize when you are wrong? Why is that? 7. When is it okay to hit another person? 8. Why are some people violent? 9. Why do some people get so angry when somebody says something insulting about their mother? 10. Some of the kids in the video said that violence is just something you have to get used to because it happens all the time. What do you think of that kind of an attitude? Is it a good idea to get used to violence? Why, or why not? 11. One girl in the video claimed there is nothing she can do to prevent becoming personally involved in a violent confrontation. Do you think she's right? What would you tell her if she said that to you. 12. How does it make you feel when you see people hurting each other in a fight? 13. Whose responsibility is it to prevent violence? (Tip: It's yours, because you are the only person you have control over.) 14. Do you think there's something wrong with someone who will just walk away from a fight? 15. Some people think it's very hard to just walk away from a fight. Why do they feel that way? Do you agree? What could you do to make it easier for yourself to walk away. 16. What are the benefits of resolving conflicts in a peaceful and positive way? 17. What was most meaningful to you in this video?